I'm in a boring EQ lesson right now holding our 1 year-old. She's in the Relief Society Presidency for a third time in three wards. Be open and honest about your priorities, concerns, and maintain your standards. It's not like all members are righteous or all non-members aren't. There's only one way to find out. Just make sure you're honest with yourself and with her throughout the process and stay true to the things that are most important to you.
Think hard and have honest conversations. The worst you can do is marry someone planning on converting them. As someone who is married to a beautiful woman who has left the faith it is difficult navigating the different beliefs especially when kids are involved. Not saying you should not continue in this relationship, just proceed with love, prayer and lots of thought. There is no guarantee on faith and belief. Non-members may join the church.
Believing spouses may leave the church. You can't control other's beliefs or the changes they'll make during their life. So the most important thing to look for in a spouse is compatible morals and the ability to work through difficult challenges together.
Dating a Mormon: Tips for Non-Mormons
If you have those 2 things you can make any differences work. If you don't, then even a temple marriage isn't a guarantee that you will have a successful marriage. I was that non-member Christian between my wife and I. I told her from the start that I couldn't take her through the Temple. We got engaged without her expecting me to convert. Only trusting God when He would tell her it would work out.
I ended up getting baptized a month before our wedding. I'm not saying it will happen to you. But God does work in mysterious ways, as it were. Trust whatever He tells you, even if it's not what you want to hear. I married a less active who is now inactive and non believing. Creates a ton of friction. It may seem an easy answer but I would say pray about it and ask God. Like others have said you don't know what will happen in the future whether they believe now or don't.
But God can give you good direction without the bias that comes from friends and family. Well there are pros and cons. It's what you want to put with if it never happens. My wife was LDS and she dated this former atheist who converted in , but she had to have that patience of a saint. She waited almost 20 years for me to convert.
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For some it may be never a conversion. If you don't have that patience then you might be miserable.. Plus you need to think forward. There is the inevitable babies born. The kids and what church they will attend. That can be a deal breaker. I didn't mind my kids going to LDS church, so that made the marriage more livable. Make sure since she is investigating the church. That if she decides to convert. I have seen a few youth in my lifetime.
Where the other investigator converted for the sake of marriage only. Then wound up divorced because the spouse was not living up to the commitments, or they fessed up it was only for the sexual relationship. Love is not infatuation. That wears off after the few months of marriage. Love lasts only if you are honest, committed, and intimate with each other.
For the Strength of Youth: Fulfilling Our Duty to God
I was the non member and dated a member for several years. Was difficult even though I did my best to follow the rules and attended church actively. I ended up not joining the church and we ended the relationship which created a lot of grief for everyone. At the same time another couple in a similar situation ended up happily married. One thing I will admit. I love and admire the Christian churches that are big on the musical aspect.
Christian music is amazing, and we have Christian music playing in our house on the radio or from Spotify playlists constantly. I understand and value the reverence in church meetings in LDS culture, but I still think it would be awesome to have that kind of music in our churches. I'm not questioning you or hers ability to live the gospel and be happy, but I guess it's a matter of risk.
Do you want to be sealed in the temple?
What are the odds of that happening depending on the relationship you pursue? I guess I just have a hard time differentiating between wishful thinking and trusting God's plan. Like they say if you have faith all things will work out. I believe that she would accept the gospel and have no problem living it but I don't know if that's me dreaming or if it's faith!
Accept her where she is now. One doesn't have faith if one isn't faithful. Part of being faithful as a Latter-day Saint is following the counsel of the prophets. The prophets have consistently taught LDS to marry someone of their own faith. One cannot disregard the teachings of the prophets and expect to receive the blessings. I married a born and raised Catholic. However, she was supportive of me going back to church regardless of denomination.
I prayed about it extensively and had to be willing to accept two things: If the answer was no, I needed to end the relationship. If the answer was yes, I needed to accept the fact that she may never join the church. For me, after prayer and fasting and other spiritual experiences, I went forward with faith marrying her. The reason the leadership discourage dating and marriage with people who have a different faith is marriage success.
The likelihood of marriage success in this life drops drastically for mixed-faith marriages. It's human nature and statistics. It only has to do with marriage and family success and not elitism. It also has to do with temple blessings. A marriage focused on an eternal perspective has the ability to make it through much more than those without. You also have to be supportive of her and her faith. Both of you can hope, but neither of you can expect anything. There is no other decision which will affect your life more than this.