Feels like we're weird and creepy by default and then have to prove otherwise. Then we have to prove that we're "good enough" to be considered for dating. Very social, funny, status, etc. I don't see anything similar that women have to deal with. They can go up and talk to anyone without being called creepy or weird. They can make a profile on a dating site and get a pretty large number of messages in a short amount of time as compared to what a guy gets.
The only real issue I see for women is just staying healthy and physically fit. It's really not that difficult to eat healthy and be somewhat active. I think guys get WAY more interested by looks. So you could have a man and woman of equal attractiveness go into a party, bar, whatever, and the woman is going to get approached more than the guy. The main complaint I seem to hear from women is that guys only sex.
Which, if your biggest "problem" is that everyone wants to have sex with you, sign me up for that program, lol.
When it comes to dating, it’s harder for men
Also they'll say most guys that approach them or message them online are unattractive. But at least women can work with guys that they KNOW are interested.
Guys have to play the guessing game a lot more. Therefore rejection is practically mandatory if a guy wants to meet women. And if a guy gets rejected then he's a "loser" and "needs to step his game up" whatever the fuck that means. If a woman gets rejected then society says "stay strong" and "she doesn't need no man".
I think this might be true for certain demographics as the nice person below me pointed out but certainly is not true in general. Hi, I'm a 22 yo white woman, I think I'm about average looking like no one would look at me and say either "wow she's ugly" or "wow she's pretty".
In my 22 years, no man has ever broadcasted any interest in me. If I like a man, I know I have to ask him out, otherwise it won't happen.
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And trust you me, I have gotten rejected by men, hard, and the gender-flip really doesn't make people kinder. This is true for nearly all young woman I know. Many of them are 22, 23, 24, 25 and have never had dates. We come from all different backgrounds and are of all different ethnicities, so what gives? Oddly enough, I think it's education. I went to an Ivy League undergrad and I'm in Oxbridge grad now not trying to brag, i think it's essential info for the point , and no one in these types of institutions dates. I'm honestly baffled when i hear women who look just like me complain about attracting "too much" male attention, or how they have new dates every week.
How do they get all the boys, when we get zilch? It's not like we don't try to get male attention: We go to parties, we "dress to impress" on a daily basis, we are friendly and open. It's just that there is never any romantic attention forthcoming. It can be really quite isolating. I'm not trying to gripe or snap at you, just letting you know, there are some girls out there who totally understand your "male" struggle.
Bro, it ain't only bros getting the cold shoulder. I think it's true in general but not for certain demographics. You and your friends sound like a special case. I'm guessing the other women in their early - mid 20's that you mentioned are your friends going to the same school? I'm guessing you all tend to have higher IQ's than gen-pop if you go to a prestigious school.
The only thing I can think of is that you all might intimidate the average Joe. I guess because they just seem "easier". Also that some girls act dumber around guys they like because supposedly it helps. That's the only thing I can think of that might be your problem. Have you tried online dating? That's rather a big chunk.
Not saying you're wrong, it's really something I need to consider. The strange thing is I would say at least in this environment my friends and I who are indeed students with me are pretty much middle of the pack- We're not that attractive or unattractive, not savants, not sports stars, etc. Really I can't imagine what any man would be afraid of.
Especially considering the only men I know are all also students at the university. If we're all on par, can they really be "scared" of me and my friends? Not saying you're wrong-Lord knows I am no authority on the minds of men- just seems strange. Perhaps one solution is that dating of any kind is considered a little uncouth among men. Don't get me wrong, it's fine to have a spouse or fiancee, that's a socially understood relationship.
But as one young professor told me "having a girlfriend here is like having a Tyson-style face tattoo," that means something like, "why on earth would you want everyone to see that? Date after you leave school, don't put your hormones on display! I don't have the luxury to start dating when I'm I'm sure it's not so easy for the men either, I can only imagine that they are just as lonely as we are. But they don't have the added pressure.
20 Ways Women Are Making Dating Harder Than It Has To Be, According To Reddit
I appreciate the suggestion! I myself haven't tried online dating. I've had a couple female friends try OkCupid, but they said it was an even more demoralizing experience. Neither one ended up with a sincere message one ended up with a man trying to cheat on his wife though, which was pretty funny. Some male friends of mine have had success with it though.
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Well if the culture at your school is to discourage casual dating, that's definitely not helping. That could be their reason for not pursuing any of you if it's indeed frowned upon.
They could have other reasons. You might be "middle of the pack" in general but it's very possible to certain guys that you're above average of you're their type. For example, there's this girl that works at GameStop in my town. She might be considered average buy some guys but she definitely caught my eye. I tend to like pale skin, dark hair, and light eyes which describes the girl at GameStop. Not to mention her very possible interest in video games and nerdy things.
That's just "my" type, so I'd consider her way more attractive than other guys might. And remember when Megan Fox was supposed to be "the hottest girl ever"?
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I never thought she was all that in the slightest. And I guess the biggest thing that turns girls away from online dating is the messages they get. Sure some guys will say stupid things but they're basically filtering themselves FOR you. If a guy seems like a dumbass, block him and move on to the next. Sounds pretty efficient to me. I think black women would disagree with that assertion. I don't have the numbers on hand atm, but online dating sites have stats which show that african american ladies don't get responses at nearly the same level as white ladies. In fact they often have to send out the first messages to get any attention.
Not sure about other ethnicities, but iirc latina women aren't as far up towards the top either. I won't go into how easy or hard it is to stay fit in a culture that promotes processed food and convenience. However I will say that standards for physical fitness and good looks tend to be a lot higher for women than men.
A guy with six pack abs will probably do better than a flabby guy, but even the flabby guy can do well enough for himself if he's funny or charming.